Way to Remember Her / 2016

installation view / While We Work: A temporary state of affairs (Agora AFFECT) / Rollberg, Berlin, Germany

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Conceived as a time-based structure for one night, WHILE WE WORK operates as a storyteller and as a score that oscillates between the liveness and the memory of our work in relation to the building - a space in constant mutation, where working phases and changes of plans are part of its daily construction, as well as the multiple informations, stories and rumors that we have been encountering. A work within a work that witnesses different momentums of labor in a vast area in the state of transformation (the Kindl Brewery).

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sound (4'33") &

text (English ver.)

I can only meet her when I sleep in a dream.

 

She is very complicated, wild and wide. Sometimes she is messed.. Actually, she is always messed up. 

However, I am sure she is an interesting person, as I forgot what I used to like.

 

Many things happen simultaneously in her mind.

She has always full of knowledge and ideas like odds and ends in the drawer, which I can't imagine where they've come from. And she seems that she really likes to share that treasures -for her- with the others.

 

There are always many people around her, but it was not easy to figure out what they have taken from her, what they left her, or what kind of relationship they are.

Something has been going on, though, I doubt there will be finally SOMETHING.

I wanna be a little more meaningful to her.

 

Unfortunately, I also don't have much time. 

Furthermore, I'm getting tired of her who is always busy and difficult to understand.

What shall I do to understand that kind of person?

Shall I ask the questions, for example, 'When is your birthday?', 'What is your major?', 'Where have you traveled?', or 'What kind of music do you like?'.

Or, shall I ask her how many people she has met before and sexed with? Then can I feel closer to her?

Yeah, I might do before. I'm not what I used to be.

 

I've gotten lack assurance to study about her as like a complicated, long, and long history book, especially in a few words.

While I do, I might lose all of the simple things, such as her gazing, gestures, or jokes etc.

So, the only thing I could do is the common conversation, eye contact, feeling the touch of her skin accidentally in the ordinary life.

No matter is enough or not at the moment, that's the only way for me taking the time.

 

Eventually, I could not know how she's spent the time with the others. 

The thing I have gotten was that she always keeps the beer crates on one side of her room, and she was a party person before but not anymore, something like that.

There is one more -this is a little more complicates, though- she used to hesitate to assert one certain point, as she could always think other possibilities about almost everything.

Even though I don't think it's wrong or bad, I just wonder and feel heavy about what is in her mind.. That's all.

It feels compounded and.. much more compounded.

 

One day, when she used the term 'intuition', I was even more confusing.

I can't really imagine she does something with her intuition. It's not wrong at all, but just unfamiliar to me.

From my view, human intuition is more like.. simple, light, or maybe direct thing -or way-.

If it is intuition for her, what (the fuck) is the shape of her time and her speed is?

 

It is neither fish, flesh, fowl, nor good red herring.

On-again off-again, like a maze of regulations. Or shifting sands.

Sometimes I feel I almost understand, but not really. Sometimes I just wanna give up, but I still want to know more.

 

Frankly speaking, I sometimes have felt that I'm a kind of rubbish which is thrown away when I'm with her.

I was like a junk went by the wayside, almost like the others.

The pieces of stuff were actually divided in a certain way, though. Such as a wood section, steel section, stone section, etc.

 

'Will the memories of ME are also finally being a part of them?'

Well, whatever. Maybe it doesn't matter.

 

"BUT could you just A BIT more organized for me talking about you?"

 

 

I'm gonna sleep for a month.

We're going to spend a month, and we will be separated. 

It is somehow sad that it's already decided from the start.

However, everything actually in the world has THE END.

I still wonder how I will be remembered for her.

And, through the memory, we would meet again at some point. Who knows?

 

 

..as I am again here in Utrecht.

 

 

performance with sound/light installation / 27, 05, 2016 / Rollberg, Berlin

I felt close to space and felt empathy, as I spend more time in Rollberg.

The story could be about the space, about me, and about you.

 

I wish I could remember her..

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AFFECT 1: WHILE WE WORK: A Temporary State of Affairs - An exhibition project featuring artists: Nicole Economides | Bea Rodrigues | Clark Beaumont (Nicole Beaumont & Sarah Clark) | Mo Ossobleh | Yuliya Chernysh | Johanna Gilje | Heekyung Ryu | and Kim Upstill. Curated and facilitated by Judith Lavagna, together with Berlin-based guest artists: Nicolas Puyjalon, Michelle Marie Letelier, Anne Fellner & Burkhard Beschow and Paul Barsch.

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